This week I sent my newborn baby out to sea, perched on an inadequate rubber ring. Off she floated, bobbing up and down in the stormy water. At least that's how it felt when I sent my manuscript off to my beta readers.

I never for one moment imagined I would feel like this. It's been almost three years since I first put pen to paper and in the intervening time the characters in my book have almost become my personal friends. I feel as protective over them as a mother hen. What if my beta readers dislike my characters? What if they think my plot is rubbish? Perhaps, actually, I'm a completely crap writer, unable to string together a coherent sentence? As I pressed that button and the manuscript winged its way to my readers, I felt close to panic. Maybe my novel would be so poorly received that I would be too embarrassed to ever show my face in public again! For the first time in my life I felt like a part of me had been torn out for all the world to see and I was standing, naked, in the full glare of a spotlight.

I'm sure there are many authors, artists and actors who have felt exactly the same.

There my baby was, still bobbing out there in the ocean and there I was, still busy fretting when a friend commented that if I actually had sent my child off into the world, would I be so apologetic? What a disservice I was doing to my baby, she pointed out, as I was already making excuses for her and setting her up to fail.

Later that day a message pinged. It was from my Number One beta reader. I felt faint with anxiety as I felt sure she was saying the novel was not for her. Probably she was messaging me to say she couldn't go on reading it.

The message read 'I love it!'

This is real.



Check on the progress of 'The Boomerang Effect' here: The Boomerang Effect